The Horse You’ve Got Today

Last night was a disaster. Or at least, that’s how it felt in the moment. It was 8 p.m., and I found myself at Covent Garden, hungry and craving something warm, crunchy, and undeniably desi. A kati roll was all I could think about. The mere thought of biting into one took me back to this fantastic place I knew on Oxford Street. But when I pulled up the map, I realized it was a 20-minute walk away. Last time I made that trip, it felt like a hike—not just because of the distance, but because the return journey wasn’t easy either.

So I tried to find something closer. Maps gave me options—moments of hope—a momos place, a Kolkata kati roll shop. But as I stepped into these places, they didn’t quite feel right. So, I kept wandering.

By now, it was 8:30, and I had stumbled upon Dishoom. It was buzzing, alive with people waiting in long queues. Not in the mood for a crowd, I turned around, still no closer to satisfying my hunger. Maybe heading home would be the best option.

Russell Square was my next stop. The Tesco there felt promising, but browsing through the aisles brought no spark of joy. Life, at that moment, felt like an endless series of uninspiring decisions. A little defeated, I walked toward Brunswick Square, standing indecisively outside a fast food shop, then finally settling on a Greek restaurant. A grilled halloumi wrap. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was what I could live with.

I placed a takeaway order and trudged home, finally sitting down to eat around 10 p.m. As I took my first bite, I couldn’t help but think: I could have walked to the Oxford Street kati roll place and back by now. And I’d be eating what I really wanted.

Why did I let decision fatigue take over? Why didn’t I just commit earlier? These thoughts kept looping in my head.

But today was different.

My lecture ended, and I still wanted that kati roll. This time, though, I didn’t overthink it. I opened Uber Eats, spotted a buy-one-get-one-free deal, and ordered two rolls to be delivered to my house. My place was 20 minutes away, so I started walking. By the time I reached home, the rolls were just five minutes away. Efficient. Simple. Exactly what I wanted.

And here I am now, eating that kati roll and reflecting on the contrast between yesterday and today.

It reminded me of something a horse trainer once told me years ago in Auroville: You work with the horse you’ve got today.

Some days, you’re indecisive, wandering through Brunswick Square, chasing something you can’t quite define. Other days, you’re focused, efficient, and in sync with what you want.

And that’s okay. The important thing is to keep moving, to work with the version of yourself you have in the moment, and to trust that even on the bad days, you’re learning.

So here’s to yesterday, today, and every day in between. And here’s to the kati rolls that remind us it’s all part of the journey.