When I look back on my school days, I remember teachers who, if we didn’t meet their expectations, would throw our notebooks across the room. A slapstick display of disapproval, an instant declaration of disappointment. And in those moments, the whole class would snicker, as if it was all in good fun, a bit of drama to break the monotony. But looking back now, I wonder how these incidents subtly molded us. They ingrained a sense of judgment and hierarchy in us—this idea that if someone doesn’t perform, then shaming them is acceptable, even expected.
This way of thinking seemed to be everywhere, not just in classrooms. At home, if a house help or support staff didn’t meet expectations, raising a voice or showing irritation was seen as normal, almost a right. Power dynamics justified that lack of respect, as though those lower in the “order” were somehow less deserving of dignity.
But this culture of judgment doesn’t end in the schoolyard or at home. It spills over into workplaces and institutions, places where we’re supposed to operate with professionalism, support, and growth. I find myself wondering: Is it ever okay to dismiss or disrespect someone simply because their work falls short? Or should our instinct be to guide, to offer feedback, and to lift them up?
Understanding the Role of Respect in Feedback
A lack of skill, after all, doesn’t define someone’s worth or potential. It simply points to what they still need—a little more time, a little more patience, and the right guidance to grow. Yet we often make assumptions, don’t we? We’re quick to label someone “lazy,” “careless,” or “incompetent” when they fail to meet our standards. But where’s the line? When someone doesn’t live up to what’s expected, what should our first response be?
Do we sit down with them, offering constructive feedback and showing them a better way? Do we extend a second chance, seeing potential even when the current work isn’t quite right? Or do we default to judgment, casting them in a certain light in our minds and dismissing them as unworthy of our time or trust? It’s easy to make these judgments, especially when they come with an added benefit of feeling “superior” or “in control.”
The Hidden Costs of Quick Judgment
And yet, there’s a real consequence to this judgmental approach. Over time, these labels we give—“slacker,” “uninterested”—start to chip away at a person’s self-esteem. They lead to differential treatment, to an environment where some feel inherently valued and others don’t. Eventually, it erodes confidence, both in themselves and in their relationship with the team or organization.
It’s a cycle: we judge, we treat people differently, and then their morale drops, which often only confirms our initial judgment. And when morale drops, productivity and engagement often follow suit. Suddenly, we’ve created an environment where people feel undervalued and unmotivated.
A New Approach: The “Modus Operandi” for Building People Up
It’s this spiral I’m reflecting on, wondering how often we pause to ask ourselves about the fairness of our actions. Have we given people a fair chance? Have we looked at them with respect, even when their work disappoints us? Maybe we need a new way to navigate these situations—a “modus operandi” that prioritizes respect, even in discomfort.
So perhaps the real work lies in resisting the urge to pass judgment. In being conscious of the ripple effect our treatment has on others, and in choosing a path that builds them up rather than tears them down. After all, aren’t we all capable of learning, of improving, if someone just takes the time to help us see our potential?
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